↓ Skip to Main Content
Search
Generic filters
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Search in excerpt
  • Archive
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Advertise
  • About
Pittsburgh Quarterly
  • Pittsburgh Today
    • Regional News
    • Spotlight
    • The Pulse
    • Indicators
    • Regional Annual Report
    • Special Reports
    • Sustainability Watch
    • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
    • Contest Ideas
    • About Pittsburgh Today
  • Money
    • Business
    • Money
    • Innovation
    • Retirement
    • Creative Capital
  • Nonprofits
    • Leadership
    • Region
    • Nonprofits
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Events
  • People
    • Profiles
    • Obituaries
    • Arrivals
    • American Spirit
  • Home/Lifestyle
    • Homes
    • Travel
    • Food & Wine
    • Restaurant Reviews
    • Shopping
  • Culture
    • Arts
    • Books
    • Opinion
    • Architecture & Neighborhoods
    • PQ Poem
    • History
    • Calendar
  • Health
    • Health
    • Science
  • Sports/Outdoors
    • Sports
    • Birds
    • Nature
    Home › Article › After A Pitcher of Beer at Antlers Pub, I Believed I Was Brave

    After A Pitcher of Beer at Antlers Pub, I Believed I Was Brave

    by Lori Jakiela
    2022 Winter
    Ice on North Shore of Lake Superior in Minnesota; taken by Jeff Gunderson, from the Great Lakes Image Collection.
    January 12, 2022



    After A Pitcher of Beer at Antlers Pub, 
    I Believed I Was Brave

    And walked with my friend Mike to the State Street Pier. 
    Mike was funny, a good drinking buddy, and fearless. 

    He pissed from the edge of the pier, then pole vaulted 
    over the railing and landed hard with both feet, 

    right on the lake below. He skidded 
    on the ice and pretended he was surfing. 

    It was probably 10 degrees out. 
    “Come on,” he said. “It’s solid. Look.”

    He jumped up and down. He did a little dance. 
    “What are you afraid of?” he said. 

    If he asked me now, I would say, “Everything,” 
    but I was young and we’d been drinking 

    and I didn’t want to spoil things. 
    I climbed over the railing. 

    I put one foot, then the other on the ice. 
    I took two steps onto the lake and stopped. 

    I waved at Mike and tried not to look worried. 
    Mike laughed and did his best Village People. 

    He spelled out Y-M-C with his arms 
    and waved at me to add the A, 

    but instead I held still. I looked out 
    in the direction I thought was Canada. 

    There were lights out there and a dark 
    lump that may have been land and which 

    was most likely Ohio. 
    Canada seemed exotic and far away.

    Year later, I’d join the airlines 
    and see the world and not like the way

    they promise in the Army. Mike would join
    the Army. Neither of us would get the dream

    we’d spend many other drunk nights dreaming –
    a houseboat off Key West, a life of reading

    and drinking and making art.
     We didn’t know that then. That night

    the ice felt sturdy. I felt like a god,
    walking on water, though 

    I didn’t go further
    than two steps. Still I knew 

    what Simone Weil once said, 
    “If the desire itself is strong enough,

    the desire itself will create
    the light,” and so I believed

    if I really wanted, 
    I could make it all the way across. 

    Categories: PQ Poem
    Tags:
    Lori Jakiela

    Lori Jakiela is the author of the memoir “Belief Is Its Own Kind of Truth, Maybe“ and several other books. She directs the Creative & Professional Writing Program at The University of Pittsburgh-Greensburg.

    Related Articles

    Even So

    by Richard St. John

    In the Used To Time

    by Nancy Krygowski

    Your 8th Birthday

    by Marcus Whalbring

    You in the Mountains

    by Richelle Buccilli

    June 15, 2017

    by Rachel Mennies

    Necessary City

    by Emily Mohn-Slate

    Intersections: Poetry, Photography and Pittsburgh

    by Joan E. Bauer & Michael Parillo

    For the Small Hairs on My Ears

    by Jeff Oaks

    Perfection

    by Richard Gegick

    Other Articles in This Series

    Don’t miss a story from PQ.

    Get Pittsburgh’s No. 1 magazine in your mailbox.

    Subscribe

    • Contact
    • Advertise
    • Subscribe
    • Privacy Policy
    • Where to Buy
    • Sign Up for Newsletter
      © 2023 Pittsburgh Quarterly Magazine — All Rights Reserved

      Designed and Developed by Apple Box Studios

      Top
      • Pittsburgh Today
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits
        • Education
        • Environment
        • Events
      • People
        ▼
        • Profiles
        • Obituaries
        • Arrivals
        • American Spirit
      • Home/Lifestyle
        ▼
        • Homes
        • Travel
        • Food & Wine
        • Restaurant Reviews
        • Shopping
      • Culture
        ▼
        • Arts
        • Books
        • Opinion
        • Architecture & Neighborhoods
        • PQ Poem
        • History
        • Calendar
      • Health
        ▼
        • Health
        • Science
      • Sports/Outdoors
        ▼
        • Sports
        • Birds
        • Nature
      Responsive Menu
      Add more content here...
      • Pittsburgh Today
        ▼
        • Regional News
        • Spotlight
        • The Pulse
        • Indicators
        • Regional Annual Report
        • Special Reports
        • Sustainability Watch
        • Pittsburgh Tomorrow Podcast
        • Contest Ideas
        • About Pittsburgh Today
      • Money
        ▼
        • Business
        • Money
        • Innovation
        • Retirement
        • Creative Capital
      • Nonprofits
        ▼
        • Leadership
        • Region
        • Nonprofits